Procrastination or semi- depression II - so which flower essences, which healing crystals?

After my last text about my current status of semi-depression or procrastination,  I really looked up my collection of healing crystals. As I take them without reading before now, and my  body tells me to take quite a lot, I now have a lot of stones in my bra ;). I'm pretty sure, most of them are indicated because of my unhealthy diet over the last 10 days...
But let's see:

• Aquamarine (my allergy crystal, as I just successfully tapped against my peach allergy, this could 
• Rubin Fuchsit Disthen
• Chalcedony (not a surprise... this stone is always indicated if my body has to deal with too much sugar)
• Magnesite 
• Sardonyx

I have searched the internet and read about the healing crystals at ruebe-zahl.de/. Magnesite is my stone if I eat too fat, but as I just found out it should help to relax at the emotional side. Aquamarin, Rubin Fuchsit Disthen and Sardonyxs should all help with depression and Sardonyx helps with fear of the unknown and to grieve. 

As I always believe that my more-than-procrastination-problem has to do with what has happened in the past, I gonna try to grieve with EFT again. Won't be that easy, as I have worked on this in a three year psychotherapy...

Then I checked my flower essences. My body indicated the following flower essences of FES Californian Flower Essence:

Pink Yarrow was "my" flower essence some time ago. It is for people who tend to help others more than themselves and feel others pain too deep. It's interesting, that now, in my state of (semi-) depression, where I actually don't deal with this actually very deeply rooted problem as I don't care of anyone, but also don't care of myself it comes up again. I had gotten my former depression because of a burn out in being for someone else. Forgetting myself and just living for others is definitely one maybe the most unhealthy tendency of mine. Although I have learned to deal with it and (mostly) withdraw myself from friendships and all relationships I consider as "dangerous" in this case, I still feel, that I'm not strong enough to go a middle way. I mostly withdraw myself completely or give completely. This dilemma makes me very unhappy from time to time. And I just remember, that it brought me into a similar status like I have know very often. Well, this time, the trigger was something else.
Yarrow is also for the one with a deep bleeding wound. Something I experienced when I got depressive years ago.


Sealf Heal is a flower essence if someone lost the belief in himself. I would say, that's what happened to me. I gave up and didn't do something to make me feel better for almost two weeks!


Tansy had once catched my eye because of this text. The woman who tells her story said about this flower essence "Emotional overwhelm is a real issue for me. And this phrase has really stuck in my head — "they energetically downshift as an avoidance mechanism for emotional coping and distancing." I often feel that depression IS an energetic downshift. You do it because you can't handle the feeling. So I have found Tansy is remarkable". That's exactly what I think. 


Then from the classic Bach Flower Essences (I use Healing Herbs)

• Sweet Chestnut (Depression, Feeling that there is no way out, fear of new beginning)
• Holly (Frustration, Fear of getting cheated)
• Agrimony (don't show what's inside of me - well, I think if I would, I would know what's my problem now)
• Centaury (always want to help others, the wish of others is stronger than my own)
• Wild Oat (Crisis, lost of orientation, don't know how to change)

And Apple of Findhorn Essences (should help to set goals and reach them)

and Date of Spirit in Nature Essences (easily irritated, unpleasant to be around; inhospitality) 

So, as Centaury and Pink Yarrow are both for people who take others as more important as themselves, I decide to take only Pink Yarrow. The additional aspect of being wounded seems to be interesting here.


----


When I wanted to take it, I realized, that it was my first time I wanted to take Date. Although the bottle had shown me, that I need it, it was empty! It wasn't sealed properly. Quite disappointing as I've ordered this one directly from the US. 

Steine... Abgrenzung?

Momentan versuche ich möglichst viel Zeit mit meinem großen Projekt zu verbringen. Die Zeit rennt. Aber manchmal gibt es Tage, da schaffe ich es einfach nicht, weil alle an meinem Rockzipfel hängen. Vorgestern war so ein Tag. Ich habe es nicht eine Sekunde geschafft mich meiner eigenen Sache zu widmen! Des Abends kam ich am Steineladen vorbei und habe alle Trommelsteine in die Hand genommen, die nicht teurer als 3 Euro waren. Erspürt habe ich Epidot-Feldspat (auch Unakit genannt), Versteinertes Holz, Serpentine und Sardonyx.

Zuhause habe ich hier gelesen wofür diese Steine gut sein sollen:

Versteinertes Holz
Foto: www.heilsteinoase.de

Versteinertes Holz soll einem beibringen, dass man weniger Energie einsetzen muss, wenn man den natürlichen Rhythmus einhält und im Einklang mit dem Ort handelt. Er soll einem Fragen bezüglich des eigenen Platz im Lebens, des Lebensraums und der Lebenszeitnutzung stellen. Physisch soll dieser Stein den Stoffwechsel aktivieren und Energie und Erholung bringen.

Serpentin
Foto: www.mineralium.com

Der Serpentin soll dabei helfen widerstandsfähiger zu werden, belastende Gefühle zu verändern und Frieden mit sich und der Welt zu schließen. Er soll emotionale Schwankungen ausgleichen, die zu Entscheidungsschwierigkeiten führen. Gefühle müssen nicht mehr kontrolliert werden um in der Welt zurechtzukommen. Mythologisch wurde er häufig als Schutzstein gesehen. Man sagt, er könne äußeren Einfluss abwehren und die Lebenskraft verstärken.

Sardonyx
Foto: http://www.heilsteine.info

Der Sardonyx soll Konzentration und Vorstellungskraft stärken und einem helfen eigene Wünsche und Absichten durchzusetzen. Er soll ferner gut zur Stärkung von Ausdauer und Disziplin sein.

Interessant, welche Steine ich mir da ausgesucht habe. Ja, das passt. Ich darf mich nicht so stark ablenken lassen und muss auch wenn alles auf mich einprasselt in der Lage sein meine eigenen Absichten durchzusetzen und konzentriert an meinem Projekt arbeiten. Sonst wird das nichts. Ich muss mich unabhängig von dem allseits präsenten Anspruch anderer machen, der erwartet dass ich helfe und mich kümmere, denn das zieht meine Lebenskraft, die schließlich zum Burnout führte. Ich weiß das inzwischen und reagiere deshalb genervt und mit innerer Angst, wenn mal wieder alles auf mich einprasselt. Wer bin ich und wie nutze ich meine Lebenszeit? Ich war in den letzten Jahren etwas wenig zielgerichtet in meinem Tun. V.a. war es mir wichtig mir Glücksgefühle und Freude zu schaffen, doch eigentlich möchte ich auch andere Projekte in meinem Leben verwirklichen. Da bin ich gerade dran. Doch wie effektiv nutze ich meine Zeit?

Unakit 
Foto: www.das-edelstein-paradies.de

Über den Unakit habe ich hier Informationen gefunden:

Der Unakit soll demnach die geistige und körperliche Regeneration fördern. Genau das brauche ich nach diesem anstrengenden, fremdbestimmten Tag. Außerdem soll er geduldiger machen und einem lernen, dass Fortschritt in kleinen Schritten passiert. Eine wichtige Erkenntnis, um nicht zu schnell aufzugeben. Und nachdem ich in den letzten Jahren sehr schnell und immer wieder mein großes Projekt aufgegeben habe, wohl auf jeden Fall eine notwendige Lektion für mich!

Ich trug meine neuen Schätze also den restlichen Tag in meiner Tasche mit mir. Am nächsten Morgen betrachtete ich die Heilsteine und machte den Test in der Hand... Wie vorauszusehen brauchte ich den Serpentin nicht mehr. Das war ein Stein für den Moment. Weil ich mich innerlich ärgerte, dass ich schon wieder diese Fremdbestimmung zugelassen hatte.

Auch beim Versteinerten Holz konnte ich nichts mehr spüren. Vermutlich sind, sobald ich nicht mehr fremdbestimmt bin, wieder alle Fragen bezüglich meinem Platz im Leben geklärt. Das ist eigentlich auch das Grundgefühl, das ich habe, auch wenn ich nicht zielgerichtet genug handle.

Die Schwingungen von Sardonyx und Unakit konnte ich auch am zweiten Tag noch spüren, wenn auch nicht mehr so stark. Aber vielleicht braucht er einfach einer längeren Tragezeit?

Ich berichte...

Lately I try to spend a lot of time for my big project. Time runs. But sometimes there are days, when everybody wants anything from me. The day before yesterday was such a day. I have not got one second to devote myself to my own thing! At evening I went to the healing crystal store and took all drum stones less expensive than 3 euros in my hands. I bought an Unakit, Fossilized Wood, a Serpentine and a Sardonyx.

At home I have read here for what these stones should work:

Fossilized Wood should teach that we need less energy if we keep life to the natural rhythm and act in harmony with place. It should make us ask questions regarding to own place in life, our living space and lifetime use. Physically this stone should activate our metabolism and bring energy and rest at one time.

Serpentine should make more resistant to change incriminating feelings and being peaceful with oneself and our surrounding. Various emotions which lead to decisive difficulties should be compensate. Therefore we don't need to control our feelings to be successful. Mythologically the Serpentine was often seen as a protective power. It shall repulse external influence and strengthen vitality.

Sardonyx should strengthen concentration and imagination and help to take steps to make own wishes true. It should be good to strengthen perseverance and discipline.

Interesting which stones I've chosen. I've to work against distraction and have to be able to concentrate on my own goals although I have other challenges to solve as well. I must change myself to become more independent from claims from others. Letting others decide over my life and how I use my lifetime takes my energy and vitality and at the end leads to burnout. I know this and since I understand, I react with internal fear, once a lot of foreign claims come to me. Who am I and how do I use my lifetime? During the last years after my burnout I was not working on goals anymore. I just tried to make myself happy and feel the joy of life. However I actually feel, I wanna realize some other projects in life as well. And I'm just in it now. But, how do I actually use my time the effective way?

About the Unakit I've found information here:

It should promote spiritual and physical regeneration. I need exactly this after this stressful day, where I've been driven by others. Moreover, it should make more patiently and teach us that progress happens in small steps. Important not to surrender too fast. And I have given up my big project many times the last years, so it's surely a necessary lesson for me!

I carried my new treasures the remaining day in my handbag. The next morning I looked at the crystals and tested them by holding it in my hand... I did not need the Serpentin any more. This was a stone for the moment. Because I was internally angry that I had admitted this foreign regulations again.

Also I couldn't feel the Fossilized Wood anymore. Maybe as soon as I was not foreign diven anymore all questions regarding to my place in the life are cleared? This is actually the feeling I have, even if I do not act specifically enough.

I could still feel the vibes of Sardonyx and Unakit, also not as strong as the day before, But maybe they simply need a longer period to be worn?

I'll report...